The Wild and the Woolly

On a Desert Isle, with only a Sheep

Yesterday
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I now know for certain that if I'm stranded on a desert island with only a sheep for company, I could probably keep warm. Note quite sure how that's important, but there you go. I once had the opportunity to spend some time with an individual who had spent some hard time in prison, solitary confinement. His solemn instructions should I ever be in the same predicament have similar survival value for me, I imagine. But you never know.

More than a year ago, I decided to undertake the project of creating a garment from raw local wool. For being free, the wool was quite lovely, but also quite dirty. Anyway, bit by laborious bit, the sweater emerged -- first clean carded fleece, then spun and plied yarn and then an aran sweater I patched together from many free designs I discovered here and there. I even figured out how do it all in the round and integrate the raglan sleeves on my way up. The miracle is that it actually does fit, despite playing quite fast and loose with the gauge, coupled with the fact that the wool itself is quite imperfectly spun and can range from a lace weight to a worsted. I'm hoping that the welter of cables will distract from the thin spots. It does seem to have fulled a bit when I washed it, which helps. Anyway, I'm quite pleased, both at the result and to be done with it. I might even enter it into the Saanich fair.

sweater

The Extinction of our Species: Not necessarily a bad thing.

Jun 19, 2009
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We have an unfortunate tendency towards apocalyptic themes in this house. Mostly I blame Mr. Salamander, but this time I have no one but myself to blame. An article in the New Yorker matter of factly describing the signs and symptoms of the accelerating process of human extinction, caught my attention. At the time I thought extinction would be a pretty bad thing and I was upset. Mr. Salamander, by contrast, in his outrage about the clumsy and unnecessary damage to living systems done by far too many self-centered homo sapiens on the planet, was willing to contemplate the notion with a fair amount of complacency, if not satisfaction.

Last night we watched Hangover, the wildly popular movie on the perennial theme of men behaving badly. And while I'm fully capable of distinguishing slapstick from fact, I have to say that the extreme popularity of movies like this drives me to my own sense that the human race, or at least the half of it that finds this stuff amusing, might be better off considered a failed experiment on the part of the Mystery. I think we have become in large part a culture that glorifies stupidity and exults in puerile mean spiritedness. I like funny smart humor. I don't think stupid is funny. It's certainly not adaptive. I think Darwin would agree.

I need to have more respect and hope for my fellow man and (by that I do mean male) as the world comes apart at the seams. This kind of movie does not support that feeling. Reassuringly, Mr. Salamander was not particularly amused.

A Mothers Day Soliloquoy

May 9, 2009
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First of all I want to say thank you Dabysan for the gorgeous flowers. You are everything a mom could wish and more. I feel incredibly fortunate. And, since you turned out so well I'm going to throw my two cents in concerning my ideas about parenting.

One always hesitates to give parenting advice directly, to people with children, but one is often moved to. I'm hoping this generalized opinionating will inoculate me from giving specific opinions where they are not wanted.

1. Always remember that your kid his his/her own person, with a distinct temperament, destiny and set of preferences. Your job is to discover that person and, to the extent possible, enable it. That person will want different things for his/her life than you do for yours.

2. Kids learn little from the lessons you consciously try to instill, but they learn a whole lot from watching who you are and how you react to life. If you want kind, happy, independent, ethical kids, the most effective strategy is to model those virtues. "Do as I say, don't do as I do," is not a winning strategy.

3. Kids do not benefit from being the center of your life. You need a life of your own just like they need a life of their own.

4. Kids need increasing freedom to make mistakes and to learn from them. When they are teenagers and young adults, you will sometimes be asked to finance these mistakes. As long as they are not life-threatening choices, you should do so to the extent you are able. The fact that Dabysan is now a quite careful purchaser of cars I attribute to the string of disastrous choices he made in his early years. That he still doesn't own a motorcycle is possibly due to the fact that I consider that a life-threatening choice.

5. Kids need to see that you screw up occasionally and can admit it and learn from it. Transparency is a good thing and is closely related to #2. They will know when things are bad, and get scared if you try to hide it.

6. Kids can be quite informative on many topics from an early age. Make it a point to learn as much as possible from your kids. Not only will you be richer for the experience, they are more likely to be willing to learn something from you occasionally.

7. Kids need unstructured time. So do you. There just isn't enough of it these days, so you may have to put it on the schedule.

flowers 2

8. Kids need strict limits with regard to their impact on other people. Likewise they should expect to have their own space and rights protected. The concept of "rights" is an interesting concept to raise with children. I had the actual Bill of Rights tacked to Daby's door at some point.

9. You get about as much respect as you give.

10. Never, ever give up on them. They will go through difficult phases, but if you don't stick by them, who will?

Flowers 1

Things Change More Slowly than People

May 4, 2009
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On my recent trip to visit family and familiar places, I was struck by a realization that may strike you as fairly obvious. Things -- like sidewalks and houses and streets and schools and gravestones -- don't really change very much at all in 40 or so years, while people -- like children and parents-- change dramatically. For some reason I was fully expecting the little town I grew up in, Uxbridge, to be radically changed -- full of high rises or some such urban blight. In fact, mostly everything, including the house I grew up in, is pretty much the same as it ever was. My elementary school is now an early learning center and is named after my first grade teacher, Mrs. Blanchard. How cool is that? My aunt even lives right where she always has, still. For some reason, I was even moved by the unrepaired sidewalk I used to walk to school on. I guess I was closer to the ground then, but it brought back strong, long-forgotten memories.

North Uxbridge Elementary

My parents, both in their mid-eighties, by contrast, have changed fairly dramatically in the past 40 years. It is sobering to experience the aging process and see yourself in their shoes. I'm so lucky they are still alive. To drive home the point, my Dad presented me with a handful of old photos he had been hanging on to.

Dad in Uniform

Mom and me1

David safety patrol1

And for the bonus question, can anyone spot Dabysan?

East Coast Here I Come!

Apr 15, 2009
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As I make ready to take off for visits to both Washington D.C., and Boston Massachusetts, I've been thinking about my roots in the U.S. east coast, long before I escaped to California (1986) and thence to Canada (2004).

I grew up in the tiny,self-important hamlet of Uxbridge Massachusetts. I am reasonably certain there are entire large cities with shorter Wiki entries than Uxbridge and I now know more than ever before about its illustrious history. However, the reality of it was quite dull growing up and I couldn't wait to get away. My mother's most effective threat to me as a slightly wild teenager was, " Just don't get pregnant, whatever you do. You'll have to spend the rest of your life in Uxbridge." I took her at her word. Next week I'm planning on revisiting Uxbridge with my Dad, for the first time since I left. Or at least the first time since I was in my early 20's. I'm sure much has changed.

So off I went to Washington, to college and thereafter to live. It was everything Uxbridge was not, I must say. It was an amazing smorgasboard of people, ideas, cultures and possibilities. If you can't find it in Washington, you can't find it, period -- which made it a good place for me to experiment with different ways of being (and distance myself from my childhood). I suspect it is still rich with the unexpected, and in fact on this visit I'm looking forward to being exposed to Roller Derby, of all things. I'm very excited about staying with CarrieNation and Dabysan and visiting with my brother and his niece. Washington does Spring better than almost anyplace, although I think I missed the cherry blossoms.

Despite having grown up in Massachusetts, I know next to nothing about Boston, but this trip may help fill in that gap, because I'm winding it up with a stay at the Copley Place Marriott in that esteemed city with my Mom. She's in her 80's, but can outperform me on the rowing machine, not to mention contests of wills. I'm looking forward to exploring Newbury Street, a shopping mecca, in particular. (She can also out-shop me.)

Unfortunately, I'm missing the best of all possible weeks in Victoria and missing the visit of my all time favorite singer,

Leonard Cohen, on what might actually be his last live tour. Not to mention missing Mr. Salamander, who will be staying home to hold the fort.

But it's going to be great.

An Amazing Read

Mar 18, 2009
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The Book of Negroes (Canadian Edition)

Lawrence Hill

This book has won all kinds of awards -- and most recently rose to the top of Canada Reads -- a CBC show featuring some of the country's most agile minds each of which champions their favorite Canadian book of the year then eliminates them one by one, week by week.

This book has everything -- the most compelling lead character I have met in ages. Aminata Diallo simply jumps off the page! She goes through incredible challenges but retains her dignity, her sense of humor and a great instinct for survival.

This is an important and carefully researched book that reads like an adventure novel. It is informative about a little known chapter of Black history -- Nova Scotia, who knew? The whole string of broken promises, evasions, and guilty consciences -- these characters are believable in ways that few writers can achieve.

At Home, Landed, in Canada

Feb 15, 2009
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When Barak Obama was sworn in, I shared the tears of millions of Americans realizing that finally, we have a leader we can be proud of. As he has managed his first bumpy weeks in office, I was particularly impressed that he was able to gracefully utter the magic words that seem to elude most politicians of lesser stature and confidence. “I’m sorry. I screwed up.” Well, halleluiah! It was almost as moving a moment as him taking the oath of office. With all its problems, the U.S. needs and deserves a sane and smart leader with his ego securely in check.

At the same time, the recent approval of our permanent residency means that we are deepening our roots here in Canada. We are officially landed immigrants here, and will soon apply for citizenship. Canada allows for dual citizenship, so we will have two passports.

When I think about the word “immigrant” and what it means to be an immigrant, I reflect upon the experience of my grandparents coming here from Italy. In a time when airplane trips were a rare luxury, they left friends, family and a familiar language and lifestyle behind forever. My paternal grandfather’s strategy for coping with all of this was a “never look back” attitude. He forbade any family members to speak Italian in his presence. They threw themselves into their new world with intensity. Their passionate love for their country was strikingly at odds with the tight-lipped and entitled descendents of the original New England settlers we lived among. My family didn’t take the privileges and opportunities of being American for granted. They were (and remain) almost religiously patriotic.

By comparison, moving to Canada requires much less adjustment. Our countries speak the same language; eat the same basic diet; and share a long undefended border. I can leave here at a civilized time of morning and be in a meeting in San Francisco by mid-day. Moving here is a less dramatic culture shift than moving from the east coast of the U.S. to the west coast – I can tell you that from experience!

But there’s something special about becoming Canadian. Not being a superpower allows Canada more freedom of thought about what’s going on in the world. The national conversation (and there is a national conversation thanks to the excellent, publicly supported CBC) has a more modest and nuanced tone. There are no real equivalents of Rush Limbaugh (well, maybe in Alberta). The CBC runs serious documentaries with adult language if it’s called for. Canadians are largely secular, which contributes greatly to the national I.Q. There is no identified “moral majority.” There would never be a national outcry over a “wardrobe malfunction.” Most Canadians have seen naked breasts on the public airways and seem unscathed by the experience.

The Canadians I have met, at whatever level of formal education, participate thoughtfully and intelligently in their communities. More than anything, what’s possible to experience here is a sense of belonging – something maybe my grandparents felt when they moved to a younger and more naïve America.

Infinite Novel

Feb 3, 2009
1 comment

While I don’t fully agree with the irritated reviewer, Jacob Levich, who termed David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest a case of “literary interuptus,” I must say the ending was a surprise, after the seemingly infinite alleyways of this so-called novel. The thousand-page behemoth is described as post post-modern, which I guess means, among other things, that he takes certain, shall we say, liberties with the genre.

Infinite Jest

David Foster Wallace

I’m not qualified to digress on modern, post, post-post or otherwise, but I found that I did have a sense of resolution about the characters by the time I reached the end. Most of the big questions I had about who they were and how they got that way were satisfyingly resolved. There was a generous amount of wonderful, good old fashioned storytelling (or else why would anyone stick around for 1000 pages?). There were also transcendent moments buried in odd digressions. The handshake that Mario, the deformed youngest Incandenza, offers in the subway station is one of the most memorable encounters I have ever read described. These characters were as fully revealed as any you might meet in the pages of fiction and more memorable than many.

The novel also offers satisfying descriptions of various states of dysphoria. A minor character’s description of psychotic depression raise the hairs on the back of my neck and made me understand better than anything else I have read what inner torture led Foster to take his life.

Another description of self-loathing, out-of-control addiction to narcotics has been seared into my central nervous system. Did I really need to understand how much physical pain a recovered addict might endure rather than go back to that hunger for oblivion? Yes, I guess I did.

The plot. Well what can you make of the plot? Just as it threatens to come together -- poof – no more book. The damn book has been your companion for months and now it’s simply over? If it wasn’t such a fun plot, if he wasn’t such a seductive story teller, this would merely be an author trying too hard to be clever. In Foster’s hands, you find yourself staring bleakly over a cliff as you turn the final page – knowing you should have seen this coming.

Despite clear temptation, this is not a good book to skim. Many of the best parts are in footnotes or digressions. Reading it quickly will not really make it a more satisfying experience. For similar reasons, I think it will be a difficult book to make a movie from even though film-making is a major theme throughout.

Flat!

Jan 19, 2009
11 comments

This is a heartfelt thank you to a certain teen aged boy -- who exercised the opportunity to be a hero last night when I was stranded by a flat tire in the dark middle of nowhere.

Flat

I was returning from a spirited evening of chanting, and I hadn't gotten very far before I knew my tire was munched. I called Mr. Salamander, who hopped off to the rescue immediately, but since he was at least a half hour away, I decided to get busy. Eventually, with the aid of a tiny key chain light, I located the manual and the various necessary bits and pieces, which Honda had quite effectively hidden in a secret compartment I thought worthy of a drug smuggler.

Just as I had everything all spread out, a pick-up truck pulls off the road in front of me and out pop a teenage boy and girl, ready to help. She, crucially, had a flash light. With his mouth full of braces, he seemed an unlikely (or at least severely under-aged) savior; however, to the amazement and appreciation of his girlfriend and me, he very carefully read all the instructions twice, and proceeded to have the whole job finished in under 10 minutes. By the time Mr. Salamander arrived in his mechanic's jumpsuit, they were already on their way, and I had cleaned up the pieces.

Shrugging off my offers of reimbursement my young man muttered something like, "actually it was kind of fun." I love that he got to show off in a good way for his girl friend, while reminding me what it is about teen boys that I just love.

New Year Meme

Jan 3, 2009
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1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Turned 60, rode in a gondola, hiked in Umbria, processed raw fleece, learned to weave, adopted a kitty, walked in a bamboo forest.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t think I made any resolutions last year; I think they wear off after a few months anyway.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
A couple of my hospice clients, but that’s the name of the game

5. What countries did you visit?
Italy, Hawaii (since I’m living in Canada, that counts).

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
More work and an easier time with Maria’s yoga class.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I have no head for dates

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Clearing the many hurdles towards permanent residency in Canada

9. What was your biggest failure?
I failed to fall in love with weaving. But there are two looms in my exercise room.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Badly wrenched my shoulder.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A drop spindle. Something about elegant primitive technologies. Kinetic art. Luxurious fleece for spinning.

Spindle

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mr. Salamander, for being a hero in so many ways. Dabysan for booking more life-changing events into one year than I can believe and, of course, for completing his blogging challenge. Carrienation for being the kind of brilliant and openhearted human being you might only wish to meet, much less be related to. My mother for her feisty spirit, reminding us that old age ain’t for sissies.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Sarah Palin. Ron Blagojevich, Eliott Spitzer (but less).

14. Where did most of your money go?
What money? Haven’t exactly killed myself with work this year.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Being kissed by Mr. Salamander in a gondola approaching the Rialto. Obama’s election. Dabysan’s engagement.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
The Teddy Bear’s Picnic

17.    Compared to this time last year, are you:
a)    happier or sadder?
Both happier and sadder -- hopefully a bit more aware.
b)    thinner or fatter?
fatter
c)    richer or poorer?
poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
disciplined writing

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
worry

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Snowbound. Warm.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Over and over again.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
In Therapy

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t think I actually hate anyone.

24. What was the best book you read?
Non Fiction: The Religious Case Against Belief. Fiction: Infinite Jest

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Learning to play Air on a G String.

26. What did you want and get?
A loom.

27. What did you want and not get?
My couch, reupholstered.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Kung Fu Panda. Seriously. I loved it.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had my whole family out to visit me here in Canada because I turned 60! It was such a great gift getting to know both CarrieNation and my nearly all grown up nieces.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Swimming all the way across the lake and back like I did in 2007. Damn shoulder.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Multiple, mismatched hand-knit items. I’m turning into Miss Haversham.

32. What kept you sane?
Sandy. Thank god for Sandy. Knitting. Thank god for knitting. Yoga. Thank god for Maria. Spinning. Thank god for the Spinners.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Obama and Michelle.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Shaken, not stirred. I feel like I’m getting a master’s degree in Economics. While not forgetting the Environment. Torture. Civil Liberties.

35. Who did you miss?
Far flung friends. You live long enough, your friends become quite dispersed.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
CarrieNation.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Expect the unexpected.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“…and these few precious days, I’ll spend with you.”